How to Get Your Relationship Back on Track after Conflict – Couples Therapy in Newcastle
Conflict is a common and normal occurrence in all relationships whether old or new and whether a partnership or marriage, though it’s not always easy to repair.
What Causes Conflict in Relationships?
Sometimes our personal opinions, beliefs or our partner’s behaviour can cause arguments or fallouts, especially when they involve important issues, relationship problems, or breaches of trust.
Whilst some couples successfully work through their differences, others are left with unresolved conflicts that continue to grow and eat away at individual partners and the relationship.
When there doesn’t seem to be a reasonable resolution, couples therapy or couples counselling with us in Newcastle may be a helpful course of action.
How Can We Resolve Relationship Conflict Naturally?
Below are also some ways you can resolve conflict before seeking couples therapy:
Talk through the conflict
Many couples think that bringing up the issue during times of quiet will make things worse and cause an argument.
In reality, it is usually keeping quiet and allowing the issue to go unspoken that causes the most trouble, leading to important issues being ignored or avoided, rather than addressed and solved.
It is much easier to deal with smaller disagreements as they arise, rather than avoiding the talk and then raising it later when your partner thinks it is resolved.
Even though uncomfortable, talking about your problems with your partner is a more healthy long-term way of communicating and is necessary for any relationship to survive.
Listen to each other during the talk
When discussing issues, use non-blaming language and be open to listening to your partner.
Similarly, approaching the discussion from the direction of wanting to solve the problem to improve the relationship for the longer term can also show your partner that the relationship is important to you.
If necessary, calmly agree to set ground rules so that the conversation is productive.
Examples of such rules might be: letting each partner speak without interruption, allowing cool off time if one asks for it, and/or no swearing, name-calling or any other behaviour that might make the problem worse.
Such rules can allow each partner to feel safe enough to express their feelings and to feel heard by the other
Recognise when it’s time to “Time out”
Difficult conversations can be upsetting and cause feelings of anger, frustration and anxiety.
It can therefore be helpful for both parties to be able to acknowledge when to take a break and have “time out” from the conversation, particularly if the discussion has become unproductive.
It is important to recognise though that this doesn’t mean abandoning the discussion altogether.
Some ideas for a short “time out” can include:
- Going outside for fresh air,
- Leaving the room,
- Taking a short walk,
- Going into a different room in private,
- Taking time to do a relaxing activity.
There are many other ways and it is good to choose the one that works best for you so that you can approach any further discussion from a calmer place.
Seek Couples Therapy (or Marriage Guidance if Appropriate)
Though the previous tips can help couples resolve many relationship issues, sometimes you might not be able to break through the barriers preventing you and your partner from moving forward without outside help.
Couples counsellors, marriage guidance counsellors, and relationship therapists can help with this.
Being able to move forwards following conflict is paramount to a healthy relationship and seeing an experienced couples counsellor can help resolve the conflict, as well as simultaneously help you rebuild connection and strengthen the relationship.
Contact us For Couples Therapy & Counselling
Newcastle Psychologist & Counselling have a team of experienced couples counsellors, relationships therapists and marriage guidance counsellors to be able to improve your relationships and resolve conflict.
At present, our team of Couples Counsellors in Newcastle are able to offer online couples counselling via Skype, Facetime, or Zoom to deliver counselling and therapy in a safe and effective way.
If you feel that seeing one of our counsellors or therapists for specialist couples counselling, marriage guidance or relationship therapy would be helpful, contact us using the form below or call us directly on 07966645198.
Dr Stuart Sadler
Chartered Clinical Psychologist
Newcastle Psychologist & Counselling